Jessica Harper Uncanceled

Uncle Michael was a legend, make no mistake. The phrase you heard spoken most often at his funeral on Monday was “larger than life”. Yep, that said it. This was a man who, in the 1970s, would harangue the hosts of house parties if they were slow to organise disco-dancing competitions. Uncle Mike wanted the chance to show off his Abba routine.

“The life and soul of the party” and “a fun personality” were two other phrases also mentioned more than once at this week’s gathering (his BOOMING VOICE had to be heard to be believed, and many was the time he blurted out some gag in a “stage whisper” that was undoubtedly heard by anyone within a 200-metre radius).

There was another adjective used to describe him, and I was surprised to hear this particular person use it, because that person was me.

“He was an inspiration,” I said to my cousin Jenny, his daughter.

“He was,” she agreed, with a laugh.

I was surprised to hear myself saying “inspirational” because I believe it’s an overused word in the modern world (maybe tying for first place with “iconic” but don’t get me started).

I’ll offer just two little snippets about his life from recent years to give you an idea of the man.

When he was in his mid 80s, Mike continued to go out once a week with his friend of 60 years, Doug, for a Chinese meal. These weren’t two old men in the corner, whom no one talked to.

Oh no.

They attracted a group of younger friends, who would come out with them, like groupies. They were that much fun. They were like rock stars on Zimmer frames (actually isn’t that the definition of The Rolling Stones? I digress).

I went to the same bar for three years and they never even knew my name (yes, don’t sing the theme tune to Cheers to me, it makes me cry with inadequacy).

On one of these occasions Mike (who was at least 84 at the time) “got chatting” to a younger woman. About twenty years younger. One thing led to another and she became his “girlfriend” (he had been married and divorced once, and then had a long-term partner who had died). The mind boggles. She was at the funeral on Monday. Attractive, glamorous, heartbroken.

The other snippet was when Mike and Doug were on (wait for it) Doug’s bachelor party. This was about two years ago. Doug would have been somewhere in his mid 80s (80 is the new 25, it seems). Did they keep it simple, enjoying a quiet drink at home, listening to some old Four Tops records?

Oh no.

After a night on the town they brought back an entourage of strangers they had met for the first time to Mike’s assisted living apartment, where they partied the night away (God help the other residents, although I suppose it’s a benefit of losing your hearing) until 4am. Apparently video of this occasion exists.

You see now why I used the word “inspirational”. Some days I think I’m just drifting through life, weighed down by apathy, anxiety and a focus on unimportant details. Thinking small, eyes removed from the big picture.

Uncle Mike had a real lust for life. If I reach my 80s, I shall try to endeavour to be more “Uncle Michael”.

But I guess my point is, why wait until then?

Until next time.

J x

PS Doug was at the funeral, with his wife.